Severe depression

Not being a doctor, I still diagnose myself with severe depression. I have somewhat, to some extent, alienated myself from people who somewhat cared about me. My angry, childish, rantings on Facebook have caused me to look like a total asshole. These rantings come from an ego that I coaxed myself way back in 2008. An alternate persona gone rot. I put this persona on back in 2008 when I met a black kid from the church. I was depressed at the time and I found refuge in his young, hip, and dangerous lifestyle. He was a young man in the world and I left the church and followed him back to the world. This caused by depression, and for a while I was lifted out of my depression and my alienation from others in the church. For whatever reason I had felt neglected and ignored in the church in Bellevue. I would go to meetings and come home very sad, almost like the meetings hurt me. This was a huge shock to my spiritual system. And living at home with my mother did not help.